10 Events that Highlight a Middle Age Man’s Day!
1. When you are able to slide out of bed with less than 3 body joints hurting. I did say slide…the last time you jumped was 10 years ago when you realized you had missed your tee time!
2. When you have a nice fluent flow in the morning…without any wait time.
3. When an attractive woman smiles at you and you don’t have either your dog or your cute grandchild with you.
4. When your wife smiles at you and you don’t have either your dog or your cute grandchild with you.
5. When you don’t fall down the stairs while looking for your glasses because you can’t see anything.
6. When you can just enjoy the flavorful taste of a cookie not packaged by Metamucil.
7. When you can sit down for dinner with every family member accounted for and present.
8. When you can stay awake throughout the whole movie.
9. When you leave in the morning…with a job and return that evening…with a job!
10. When you go to bed, you aren’t bothered by indigestion, caffeine jitters, back pain, insomnia, the neighbor’s rap music, or one immensely irritating cricket.
The goal of this blog is to share ideas supporting an effective anti-bullying national program. I also passionately believe that our ability to provide quality education to kids cannot happen until the pillars of Respect, Discipline and Courage have been restalished in our public schools. Educators, parents, and community leaders must all come together and stand strong to attain a nourishing, safe and thriving school community.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Saturday, December 24, 2011
10 of my favorite Parent statements through the Years!
In paranthesis are my responses:
1. I know my child and I know he would never lie to me. (You are living in a fantasy world, mom!)
2. Why don't you worry about the big things like drugs and weapons instead of
wasting your time bothering my kid about dress code and being tardy? (If I bother your child
about these "small" things, I won't ever have to worry about the big ones.}
3. If my child said F$#@ Y&% to you, what did you do to cause him/her to say that? (Are you kidding me?)
4. My child doesn't think that you like her. (I don't...but I still want to facilitate her educational
experience.}
5. He never acts that way at home... (Ha, ha,...that's a good one!)
6. Why are you stressing my child out with all these expectations? (Why aren't you reinforcing my
expectations at home?}
7. Don't talk down to me just because you have a college education... (Sure, I'll express my views intellectually.
The problem is that you won't understand a darn thing I said. So at least give your child the opportunity to
understand some day.}
8. My child says that you are boring... (Which rock did you look under that had a note stating that preparing
children for a solid education was entertaining?}
9. I've talked to many of my daughter's friends and they all say you called her on the carpet. (You are foolish
for listening to a bunch of teenagers that challenge anyone that facilitates brain function... and by
the way, you might try calling her on the carpet as well.}
10. My child is failing your class. What are you going to do about it? (Not a darn thing...he's failing because of
his decisions not because of my actions!}
1. I know my child and I know he would never lie to me. (You are living in a fantasy world, mom!)
2. Why don't you worry about the big things like drugs and weapons instead of
wasting your time bothering my kid about dress code and being tardy? (If I bother your child
about these "small" things, I won't ever have to worry about the big ones.}
3. If my child said F$#@ Y&% to you, what did you do to cause him/her to say that? (Are you kidding me?)
4. My child doesn't think that you like her. (I don't...but I still want to facilitate her educational
experience.}
5. He never acts that way at home... (Ha, ha,...that's a good one!)
6. Why are you stressing my child out with all these expectations? (Why aren't you reinforcing my
expectations at home?}
7. Don't talk down to me just because you have a college education... (Sure, I'll express my views intellectually.
The problem is that you won't understand a darn thing I said. So at least give your child the opportunity to
understand some day.}
8. My child says that you are boring... (Which rock did you look under that had a note stating that preparing
children for a solid education was entertaining?}
9. I've talked to many of my daughter's friends and they all say you called her on the carpet. (You are foolish
for listening to a bunch of teenagers that challenge anyone that facilitates brain function... and by
the way, you might try calling her on the carpet as well.}
10. My child is failing your class. What are you going to do about it? (Not a darn thing...he's failing because of
his decisions not because of my actions!}
Friday, December 23, 2011
Ten Statements made by Teachers that Enhance your Child's Education.
1. Your brain should be tired by the end of the school day because you challenged yourself today...not because
you wasted brain cells texting until 3:00 AM this morning.
2. Yes....spelling counts!
3. If you would like to do better in my class, take all electronic devices out of your room and hand your
cell phone over to your parents after 8:00 PM every night.
4. Who said anything about being easy?
5. Please use full sentences.
6. When a middle or high school student tells the teacher that they don't have a pencil, paper or their book
after the first week, the teacher's response should be..."That's your problem, deal with it".
7. When I'm talking...you aren't!
8. Work is an expectation, not an option!
9. Studying is hard...Digging ditches is harder!
10. Your parents owe you food, shelter and an education...everything else is a priviledge. If you decide to ignore
your education, there will be no extracurricular activities, no time with friends, no electronic devices, no
name brand clothes, no use of the car, no spending money, no dating, etc., etc.
you wasted brain cells texting until 3:00 AM this morning.
2. Yes....spelling counts!
3. If you would like to do better in my class, take all electronic devices out of your room and hand your
cell phone over to your parents after 8:00 PM every night.
4. Who said anything about being easy?
5. Please use full sentences.
6. When a middle or high school student tells the teacher that they don't have a pencil, paper or their book
after the first week, the teacher's response should be..."That's your problem, deal with it".
7. When I'm talking...you aren't!
8. Work is an expectation, not an option!
9. Studying is hard...Digging ditches is harder!
10. Your parents owe you food, shelter and an education...everything else is a priviledge. If you decide to ignore
your education, there will be no extracurricular activities, no time with friends, no electronic devices, no
name brand clothes, no use of the car, no spending money, no dating, etc., etc.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Has it been worth it?
When I was a young adult, I was such a quiet guy. I didn't share my view and kept most things inside. During my first seven years as a teacher I kept my views guarded. When I shifted to administration in 1998, the passion I had towards facilitating outstanding educational opportunities for all kids, really began to intensify. By the time I took my first principalship in 2002, I was fired up and had a lot to say. My vision for community and academic success drove me forward. So I passionately expressed my views.
I found out that change and strength of character scares people.
1. I went to the school board and superintendent in my second year as principal at Epping Middle high School and presented a vision to turn the Epping school communities into one of the finest in the country. I told them that it would be hard and some would fight the change. I told them I was willing to take all the hits. The superintendent and the board agreed to support me 100%. The school board offered me a four year extension on the spot to validate their support. The superintendent and I came up with a plan for implementation. The process began, people got scared and the superintendent collapsed. She allowed the old guard, that she agreed was the crux of the problem, to take control of the school.
2. I took a position as Head of School for a private education institution on HHI. The owner was a tyrant. When I arrived the teachers had sub-standard pay and no medical benefits. The curriculum was questionable. Half the classes did not have textbooks. SCISA was challenging our legitimacy as a secondary school. The NCAA was challenging the credibility of our graduates. I fought for students and teachers for three years. In the third year the owner called me in and said... "without question this is a better quality school now then when you arrived over two years ago. However, I liked it better when it was a lousy school and I was making more money." Then he convinced the new investors that I was spending over budget when in actuality he had cooked the books shifting other business venture expenditures into my lines. The result, I was convinced to agree to a mutual arrangement that sent me on my way.
3. The superintendent of schools in Beaufort County told me I was the kind of administrator she was looking for. She toldme that I would be a principal in the system in no time. She also told me I could always talk to her if I had concerns. Seven months later I had a concern, so I spoke. I was transferred, demoted and many attempts were made to get me to quit. I expressed my concerns and the papers got a hold of my e-mail to all my colleagues. Between e-mails, phone and personal conversation, over 400 employees in the district have expressed their support for what I said. The standard component of every conversation was a piece in which these people expressed concern about losing their job if they publicly supported me. In the last year I was given a negative review, (I got an attorney. They conducted a new review and I received excellent marks...the district also agreed to shred the bad review.)and not given the opportunity to return to an administrative position despite the fact that I am one of the most experienced administrators in the district.
4. I have been an HHBA little league baseball coach for three years. It has been a joy to coach so many fine young boys and particularly to coach my son. This year I stood up to the chairman of the HHBA committee and to another coach. The chairman is a bully and the other coach is sneaky and demonstrates questionable ethics as a coach. I simply stood up in front of them and called them on the carpet. The vast majority of the other coaches and parents know about these guys and have witnessed their actions. Because of my honesty, I have been banned from coaching my son and was even asked not to come on the field when my son's all-star team was practicing. Never have I ever seen a parent not welcomed onto a field to help out. I have seniority as an HHBA coach and twenty years experience as a high school coach, athletic director, teacher and principal. It would be difficult to find a parent that did not support my philosophy and actions as a coach for their kids.
So I ask myself the question, "Has it been worth it?" Absolutely!!!
No matter how people react, my children will always know and believe that Dad stood up for what he believed in...that he cared deeply about kids...and that he followed the right path, not the easy one!
I found out that change and strength of character scares people.
1. I went to the school board and superintendent in my second year as principal at Epping Middle high School and presented a vision to turn the Epping school communities into one of the finest in the country. I told them that it would be hard and some would fight the change. I told them I was willing to take all the hits. The superintendent and the board agreed to support me 100%. The school board offered me a four year extension on the spot to validate their support. The superintendent and I came up with a plan for implementation. The process began, people got scared and the superintendent collapsed. She allowed the old guard, that she agreed was the crux of the problem, to take control of the school.
2. I took a position as Head of School for a private education institution on HHI. The owner was a tyrant. When I arrived the teachers had sub-standard pay and no medical benefits. The curriculum was questionable. Half the classes did not have textbooks. SCISA was challenging our legitimacy as a secondary school. The NCAA was challenging the credibility of our graduates. I fought for students and teachers for three years. In the third year the owner called me in and said... "without question this is a better quality school now then when you arrived over two years ago. However, I liked it better when it was a lousy school and I was making more money." Then he convinced the new investors that I was spending over budget when in actuality he had cooked the books shifting other business venture expenditures into my lines. The result, I was convinced to agree to a mutual arrangement that sent me on my way.
3. The superintendent of schools in Beaufort County told me I was the kind of administrator she was looking for. She toldme that I would be a principal in the system in no time. She also told me I could always talk to her if I had concerns. Seven months later I had a concern, so I spoke. I was transferred, demoted and many attempts were made to get me to quit. I expressed my concerns and the papers got a hold of my e-mail to all my colleagues. Between e-mails, phone and personal conversation, over 400 employees in the district have expressed their support for what I said. The standard component of every conversation was a piece in which these people expressed concern about losing their job if they publicly supported me. In the last year I was given a negative review, (I got an attorney. They conducted a new review and I received excellent marks...the district also agreed to shred the bad review.)and not given the opportunity to return to an administrative position despite the fact that I am one of the most experienced administrators in the district.
4. I have been an HHBA little league baseball coach for three years. It has been a joy to coach so many fine young boys and particularly to coach my son. This year I stood up to the chairman of the HHBA committee and to another coach. The chairman is a bully and the other coach is sneaky and demonstrates questionable ethics as a coach. I simply stood up in front of them and called them on the carpet. The vast majority of the other coaches and parents know about these guys and have witnessed their actions. Because of my honesty, I have been banned from coaching my son and was even asked not to come on the field when my son's all-star team was practicing. Never have I ever seen a parent not welcomed onto a field to help out. I have seniority as an HHBA coach and twenty years experience as a high school coach, athletic director, teacher and principal. It would be difficult to find a parent that did not support my philosophy and actions as a coach for their kids.
So I ask myself the question, "Has it been worth it?" Absolutely!!!
No matter how people react, my children will always know and believe that Dad stood up for what he believed in...that he cared deeply about kids...and that he followed the right path, not the easy one!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Three Pillars Education: 10 ways to Improve Respect & Discipline in School....
Three Pillars Education: 10 ways to Improve Respect & Discipline in School....: "10 Ways to Improve Respect and Discipline in Schools.
1. Hire administrators and teachers that couldn’t care less about being politically ..."
1. Hire administrators and teachers that couldn’t care less about being politically ..."
10 ways to Improve Respect & Discipline in School.
10 Ways to Improve Respect and Discipline in Schools.
1. Hire administrators and teachers that couldn’t care less about being politically correct.
2. Eliminate warnings, negotiations and rescheduling in the discipline protocol. The only warning is on day one when the student receives their student manual.
3. Forget about teaching to the test. Teach to the focal point of passion.
4. Expel the 5 % of the kids who couldn’t care less about school and who daily impede upon the educational opportunities of others.
5. Celebrate the quality, heart and passion of teachers and mean it.
6. Tell the parent that comes in looking to find fault in everyone as a cover for their child’s imperfections…to take a hike….then have the SRO escort them out of the building.
7. If a student does not do their homework, prepare for class or study…give them what they deserve…..an “F”.
8. Expect all students in American schools to speak in full sentences, look you in the eye, do the multiplication table through 12, spell properly, exude manners, and speak English.
9. If you pass everything, you play. If you fail anything, you sit.
10. Manual labor should be the standard form of discipline for not doing your homework. Let them get used to what it will be like in 10 years if they don’t carry through with their education.
1. Hire administrators and teachers that couldn’t care less about being politically correct.
2. Eliminate warnings, negotiations and rescheduling in the discipline protocol. The only warning is on day one when the student receives their student manual.
3. Forget about teaching to the test. Teach to the focal point of passion.
4. Expel the 5 % of the kids who couldn’t care less about school and who daily impede upon the educational opportunities of others.
5. Celebrate the quality, heart and passion of teachers and mean it.
6. Tell the parent that comes in looking to find fault in everyone as a cover for their child’s imperfections…to take a hike….then have the SRO escort them out of the building.
7. If a student does not do their homework, prepare for class or study…give them what they deserve…..an “F”.
8. Expect all students in American schools to speak in full sentences, look you in the eye, do the multiplication table through 12, spell properly, exude manners, and speak English.
9. If you pass everything, you play. If you fail anything, you sit.
10. Manual labor should be the standard form of discipline for not doing your homework. Let them get used to what it will be like in 10 years if they don’t carry through with their education.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Bullied: What does she see in me?
Chapter 6
What does she see in me?
Here I was back in school in the spring of 1985 ready to try something new. I was in possession of my business degree from ’83 supported by that 2.01 GPA. However, after attempts at engineering, retail management, sales and an attempt at making the Professional Tennis Tour, it was time for something new. I was ready and focused and I was going to do it. I was going to be a Biologist. The reality was I had never followed through with anything after the age of ten. I struggled with commitment, trust, relationships, winning, and losing, just to name a few. However, I was a fighting survivor of Bullying and I plugged along. Surprisingly, I enjoyed that semester. I made some friends, performed in school and actually laughed at times. Of course, I always had my little yellow pills when things got a bit too tough.
The fall semester began on a very high note. I was excited for the first time in years and jumped into my classes believing that I would do well. Sitting in Microbiology the first day, I noticed a very beautiful girl sitting ahead and to the left of me. I could not keep my eyes off of her. I knew, however, that a girl like this would never go for a chump like me. I had joined the Biology club in the spring and was now an elected officer of the club. About three weeks into the semester, three girls stopped me in the hall and asked if they could join the club. One of them happened to be that gorgeous girl from Microbiology class. My eyes were glued to her as the three girls asked questions about the club. Her name was Kathleen. She was stunningly beautiful, with a nervously curved smile, pale green eyes and long slender fingers. What was impossible to not notice and is still mentioned by so many to this day was her hair. I had never seen a woman with so much gorgeous thick hair and it was intoxicating.
We ended up in the elevator by ourselves after the other girls had moved on. We connected immediately and just started talking and listening. Immediately, I noticed that I was not a nervous wreck around her. I made sense when I spoke to her and I didn’t dry heave as I did with other girls that I thought I liked. By the time that we left the science building and had walked half a block a decision was made. I was going to marry this girl. There was only one problem. Kathleen was gorgeous, bright and talented…and I was me! So I decided to conduct an experiment.
The kids in our department met in groups many nights in the library. A few days later, I “accidently” bumped into Kathleen and told her that we had a study group planned for that evening and she was welcome to join us. At seven o’clock I was seated at the table on the third floor of the library trying to figure out how I would explain the lack of any other participants. As my mind was scrambling, two students from the Middle East sat and started talking. This was great! Now it looked like a study group. As we were talking, she appeared. All three of us stared although I tried not to gawk. As she sat down the other two guys proceeded to talk incessantly to her. Now I was looking at the possibility of a wasted opportunity. However for whatever reasons, after just a few minutes, the two guys excused themselves and headed out.
Here I was now alone with this woman who I couldn’t stop thinking about since our first talk in the elevator. After just a few seconds, my guilt-driven tongue spilled the beans. “There is no study-group, Kathleen; I set this whole thing up”. Kathleen looked at me and just quietly stated, “I know…and you are the only guy in the department that calls me Kathleen. I like that. The others all call me Kathy”. Then we started talking about everything and anything for the next four hours. I walked her to her car, we smiled, and then I just walked to my car. As I searched for my keys, the biggest most legitimate smile came upon my face and the feeling inside was the best I had felt since I was nine years old. She likes me….me… little, plain, lowly me!! As I drove home that night, confusion and emotions of sadness and ecstasy scrambled my thought process. After so many years of struggling within an empty worthless shell……Was it actually possible that I had some value as a human being?
What does she see in me?
Here I was back in school in the spring of 1985 ready to try something new. I was in possession of my business degree from ’83 supported by that 2.01 GPA. However, after attempts at engineering, retail management, sales and an attempt at making the Professional Tennis Tour, it was time for something new. I was ready and focused and I was going to do it. I was going to be a Biologist. The reality was I had never followed through with anything after the age of ten. I struggled with commitment, trust, relationships, winning, and losing, just to name a few. However, I was a fighting survivor of Bullying and I plugged along. Surprisingly, I enjoyed that semester. I made some friends, performed in school and actually laughed at times. Of course, I always had my little yellow pills when things got a bit too tough.
The fall semester began on a very high note. I was excited for the first time in years and jumped into my classes believing that I would do well. Sitting in Microbiology the first day, I noticed a very beautiful girl sitting ahead and to the left of me. I could not keep my eyes off of her. I knew, however, that a girl like this would never go for a chump like me. I had joined the Biology club in the spring and was now an elected officer of the club. About three weeks into the semester, three girls stopped me in the hall and asked if they could join the club. One of them happened to be that gorgeous girl from Microbiology class. My eyes were glued to her as the three girls asked questions about the club. Her name was Kathleen. She was stunningly beautiful, with a nervously curved smile, pale green eyes and long slender fingers. What was impossible to not notice and is still mentioned by so many to this day was her hair. I had never seen a woman with so much gorgeous thick hair and it was intoxicating.
We ended up in the elevator by ourselves after the other girls had moved on. We connected immediately and just started talking and listening. Immediately, I noticed that I was not a nervous wreck around her. I made sense when I spoke to her and I didn’t dry heave as I did with other girls that I thought I liked. By the time that we left the science building and had walked half a block a decision was made. I was going to marry this girl. There was only one problem. Kathleen was gorgeous, bright and talented…and I was me! So I decided to conduct an experiment.
The kids in our department met in groups many nights in the library. A few days later, I “accidently” bumped into Kathleen and told her that we had a study group planned for that evening and she was welcome to join us. At seven o’clock I was seated at the table on the third floor of the library trying to figure out how I would explain the lack of any other participants. As my mind was scrambling, two students from the Middle East sat and started talking. This was great! Now it looked like a study group. As we were talking, she appeared. All three of us stared although I tried not to gawk. As she sat down the other two guys proceeded to talk incessantly to her. Now I was looking at the possibility of a wasted opportunity. However for whatever reasons, after just a few minutes, the two guys excused themselves and headed out.
Here I was now alone with this woman who I couldn’t stop thinking about since our first talk in the elevator. After just a few seconds, my guilt-driven tongue spilled the beans. “There is no study-group, Kathleen; I set this whole thing up”. Kathleen looked at me and just quietly stated, “I know…and you are the only guy in the department that calls me Kathleen. I like that. The others all call me Kathy”. Then we started talking about everything and anything for the next four hours. I walked her to her car, we smiled, and then I just walked to my car. As I searched for my keys, the biggest most legitimate smile came upon my face and the feeling inside was the best I had felt since I was nine years old. She likes me….me… little, plain, lowly me!! As I drove home that night, confusion and emotions of sadness and ecstasy scrambled my thought process. After so many years of struggling within an empty worthless shell……Was it actually possible that I had some value as a human being?
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