I was just thinking....

1. You can’t make a difference … unless… you are different.
2. Change is scary. Just ask anyone who knew Dr. Martin Luther King, Gandhi, or Dr. Robert Oppenheimer.
3. NCLB (No Child Left Behind) was a glamorous ideal. However, let’s balance the vision with a taste of reality. A few people are going to design the buildings and many are going to lay the bricks.
4. Discipline strengthens purpose…Respect builds trust…Courage produces results!
5. Weak parents negotiate curfews...strong parents say, "Be home by 10".
6. Trees never lose focus…Sunlight baby, Sunlight!!
7. You are never lost…you are always somewhere!

7 Tips for Family Survival in 2012

1. Hear what your kids are not saying. a. When you ask your teen how the day was, the response is always “fine”. In many cases this is a normal teenager energy reserve response. However, if something doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t. Now you have got to probe deeper and get your child to talk. It will be difficult, painful and possibly loud. However, we are talking about the long-term well-being of your child. 2. Illegalize all electronic devices in your child’s room after they turn in for the night. a. No…I’m not kidding. Have your kids hand over their cell phones, computers, I Pads, etc., etc. The 24/7 constant information barrage is not healthy. b. If they refuse, do not let them into their bedrooms. No negotiations…They need to sleep. 3. Do not allow your kids to lock their bedroom doors. a. Give them their deserved privacy…which means you will knock before entering. b. People lock doors when they don’t want others to know what is being said or done. We have the right as parents to know everything that our kids say or do! c. If they refuse your request, remove the door when they leave for school and ask your neighbor if you can keep it in their garage….I guarantee they won’t lock it when you give them a second chance. 4. Require that you children give you their access passwords to all computer accounts. a. Remind your kids that any access to these things is a privilege which can be removed because of poor behavior, poor grades, poor hygiene, etc. i. Last year my daughter was going through a philosophical struggle which involved being irresponsible and disrespectful to her parents. I got on her Facebook, changed her password and left the following message: “Dear Facebook Friends: My daughter will not be sharing with you on Facebook for an undetermined period of time until she regains her senses. This will occur when she shows appreciation and respect for her parents, cleans her room, does all schoolwork on time, and quits talking back.” Signed “Dad” 5. Accept the fact that your tween or teenager lies. a. This is a challenging one for many parents to come to grips with. After 23 years as an educator and 17 years as a parent it is just the cold hard truth. You can adjust the term to “fib”, “alter”, “forget”, “contrive”. The reality is that kids’ minds work within a very small window of time. For example, it’s Thursday and your child gets in trouble in school. He has been waiting for two weeks to join his buddies after school on Friday for a sleepover weekend. I guarantee you that your son or daughter will adjust the details so that they can participate in the sleepover. b. These kids are not bad kids….they are kids. c. So do the right thing…don’t let them join the sleepover. d. I suggest wearing ear plugs when you announce your decision so that the whining, drama and screams will just be a dull nuisance. 6. Ask questions, verify answers, a. Ask the following questions: i. Who will you be with? Will their parents be at home? Who is driving? What specifically will you be doing? ii. Do not accept any answer that begins with: “I think so”, or “Mary…and a couple of other kids”. b. Verify answers: i. Call the other parents. 7. While having meals as a family, no electronic devices will be permitted: a. No TV…No smart phones…No texting….No computers… b. Only allow conversation and proper table manners!

Has it been worth it?

When I was a young adult, I was such a quiet guy. I didn't share my view and kept most things inside. During my first seven years as a teacher I kept my views guarded. When I shifted to administration in 1998, the passion I had towards facilitating outstanding educational opportunities for all kids, really began to intensify. By the time I took my first principalship in 2002, I was fired up and had a lot to say. My vision for community and academic success drove me forward. So I passionately expressed my views.

I found out that change and strength of character scares people.

1. I went to the school board and superintendent in my second year as principal at Epping Middle high School and presented a vision to turn the Epping school communities into one of the finest in the country. I told them that it would be hard and some would fight the change. I told them I was willing to take all the hits. The superintendent and the board agreed to support me 100%. The school board offered me a four year extension on the spot to validate their support. The superintendent and I came up with a plan for implementation. The process began, people got scared and the superintendent collapsed. She allowed the old guard, that she agreed was the crux of the problem, to take control of the school.

2. I took a position as Head of School for a private education institution on HHI. The owner was a tyrant. When I arrived the teachers had sub-standard pay and no medical benefits. The curriculum was questionable. Half the classes did not have textbooks. SCISA was challenging our legitimacy as a secondary school. The NCAA was challenging the credibility of our graduates. I fought for students and teachers for three years. In the third year the owner called me in and said... "without question this is a better quality school now then when you arrived over two years ago. However, I liked it better when it was a lousy school and I was making more money." Then he convinced the new investors that I was spending over budget when in actuality he had cooked the books shifting other business venture expenditures into my lines. The result, I was convinced to agree to a mutual arrangement that sent me on my way.

3. The superintendent of schools in Beaufort County told me I was the kind of administrator she was looking for. She toldme that I would be a principal in the system in no time. She also told me I could always talk to her if I had concerns. Seven months later I had a concern, so I spoke. I was transferred, demoted and many attempts were made to get me to quit. I expressed my concerns and the papers got a hold of my e-mail to all my colleagues. Between e-mails, phone and personal conversation, over 400 employees in the district have expressed their support for what I said. The standard component of every conversation was a piece in which these people expressed concern about losing their job if they publicly supported me. In the last year I was given a negative review, (I got an attorney. They conducted a new review and I received excellent marks...the district also agreed to shred the bad review.)and not given the opportunity to return to an administrative position despite the fact that I am one of the most experienced administrators in the district.

4. I have been an HHBA little league baseball coach for three years. It has been a joy to coach so many fine young boys and particularly to coach my son. This year I stood up to the chairman of the HHBA committee and to another coach. The chairman is a bully and the other coach is sneaky and demonstrates questionable ethics as a coach. I simply stood up in front of them and called them on the carpet. The vast majority of the other coaches and parents know about these guys and have witnessed their actions. Because of my honesty, I have been banned from coaching my son and was even asked not to come on the field when my son's all-star team was practicing. Never have I ever seen a parent not welcomed onto a field to help out. I have seniority as an HHBA coach and twenty years experience as a high school coach, athletic director, teacher and principal. It would be difficult to find a parent that did not support my philosophy and actions as a coach for their kids.

So I ask myself the question, "Has it been worth it?" Absolutely!!!

No matter how people react, my children will always know and believe that Dad stood up for what he believed in...that he cared deeply about kids...and that he followed the right path, not the easy one!