I think that if all of the bullying organizations came together we could significantly deter bullying in all our communities. A national coalition with passion and focus would be phenomenal. However, even with the most proactive creative pieces in place, some bullying would still occur. It is similar to the teenage drinking and driving issue. Kids are so well informed about the dangers but that voice of immortality still lingers on the shoulders of so many teens.
Despite the extraordinary programming and the horrific images, kids still get behind a wheel drunk or are persuaded to get into the backseat with an intoxicated driver. I think the same goes with "Bullying". The programs are more connective, the images are stronger, the media is relentless... yet kids and adults are still bullied.
So just as we do with the drinking/driving issue, we have to have a program that constantly reminds, informs and keeps the kids, teachers and parents in check. Every school system should have in place a mandatory anti-bullying presentation at the opening of school. The sterile power point shows have got to go. These programs need to be fed by emotion. A statistic sticks for a moment but feelings can impact a person for life. The presenting team must grab the audience so that the message burrows into their brains. Anyone connected to kids should receive mandatory training in order to develop a rapport with kids, recognize the signs of bullying and effectively respond. Parents have got to probe ( a tough tough challenge with teens). A parent has to start listening to what their child is not saying. Without exception, a short-term battle with your child will far outweigh the effects of a long-lasting war.
The ultimate goal is that we want every student, teacher and parent excited about school and feeling safe. We want students enjoying school every day and teachers enjoying coming to work each day.
Wouldn't it be great if we could keep the drama in theater class while spending the rest of the day focused on intellectual growth and accomplishment!
The goal of this blog is to share ideas supporting an effective anti-bullying national program. I also passionately believe that our ability to provide quality education to kids cannot happen until the pillars of Respect, Discipline and Courage have been restalished in our public schools. Educators, parents, and community leaders must all come together and stand strong to attain a nourishing, safe and thriving school community.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Monday, July 9, 2012
If you bully...
If we are going to eliminate bullying in our schools do we have to come up with innovative strategies? I say "No"... Let's return to what works. So here are my strategies for eradicating bullies from our school communities.
1. If you bully, all electronic devices are off limits for the rest of your school year. You need information,,,
read a book; you need a ride, use the school phone; you want a status, talk to someone face to face.
2. If you bully you do good old-fashioned manual labor. Put on some gloves and pick up garbage around
the school. Parents may not argue...if they do they are handed another pair of gloves.
3.If you bully, you do not return to school until you and your parents writes an apology to the victim. Then
you hand that apology to the victim in person while looking at them in the eye.
4.If you bully you will be afraid to tell your parents because the punishment will be worse at home.
5.If you bully, you don't play sports...your exercise will consist of mowing all your elderly neighbor's
lawns, and cleaning all three family bathroom floors with a toothbrush, (We were luckier, most of us only
had one)
6. If you bully, you will be "Scared Straight".
7. If you bully, "free time" is a memory.
8. If you bully, you are assigned a seat in the cafe for the year. Then you stay and clean the cafe after lunch.
9. If you bully, you lose all pass privileges. No more bathroom passes...plan better.
10. If you bully, you stay home with your parents. Sorry parents, you raised them...you fix them.
1. If you bully, all electronic devices are off limits for the rest of your school year. You need information,,,
read a book; you need a ride, use the school phone; you want a status, talk to someone face to face.
2. If you bully you do good old-fashioned manual labor. Put on some gloves and pick up garbage around
the school. Parents may not argue...if they do they are handed another pair of gloves.
3.If you bully, you do not return to school until you and your parents writes an apology to the victim. Then
you hand that apology to the victim in person while looking at them in the eye.
4.If you bully you will be afraid to tell your parents because the punishment will be worse at home.
5.If you bully, you don't play sports...your exercise will consist of mowing all your elderly neighbor's
lawns, and cleaning all three family bathroom floors with a toothbrush, (We were luckier, most of us only
had one)
6. If you bully, you will be "Scared Straight".
7. If you bully, "free time" is a memory.
8. If you bully, you are assigned a seat in the cafe for the year. Then you stay and clean the cafe after lunch.
9. If you bully, you lose all pass privileges. No more bathroom passes...plan better.
10. If you bully, you stay home with your parents. Sorry parents, you raised them...you fix them.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
No Bullying today...Let's have fun... 10 people/events to chuckle about
1. Self-proclaimed Education Presidents....We haven't had one since Woodrow Wilson!
2. Reality shows. I've been on one. There is nothing real about them.
3. George Carlin...He never wasted a word!
4. No Child Left Behind...I've got some bad news...and...Don't turn around...
5. Sean Hannity of Fox News....A true journalist always presenting a non-biased perspective.
6. Jim Cantore from the Weather Channel... a flash of lightning, a rumble of thunder...Jim's on Air
response..."Oh my God, did you hear that? It's going to be a long night for the people of this sleepy little
town."
7. Scandals involving Divison 1 college football coaches...1.Friday: The Univ.of X is excited to welcome our
new coach to lead us into the future. 2. Saturday night: The coach goes to a club and is caught
later that night with three strippers in his hotel room. 3. Monday: The Athletic Director announces that the
coach is being released...but the good news is that he is only getting sent away with 2.5 million dollars
from his original 7.2 million dollar contract!
8. M.A.S.H...Now that was quality television...a gauranteed laugh no matter how many times you had seen
the re-runs.
9. Obamacare....Millions spent to determine if we should spend millions
10. Bill Cosby...Life's daily struggles transformed into laughter simply by telling a good clean story.
2. Reality shows. I've been on one. There is nothing real about them.
3. George Carlin...He never wasted a word!
4. No Child Left Behind...I've got some bad news...and...Don't turn around...
5. Sean Hannity of Fox News....A true journalist always presenting a non-biased perspective.
6. Jim Cantore from the Weather Channel... a flash of lightning, a rumble of thunder...Jim's on Air
response..."Oh my God, did you hear that? It's going to be a long night for the people of this sleepy little
town."
7. Scandals involving Divison 1 college football coaches...1.Friday: The Univ.of X is excited to welcome our
new coach to lead us into the future. 2. Saturday night: The coach goes to a club and is caught
later that night with three strippers in his hotel room. 3. Monday: The Athletic Director announces that the
coach is being released...but the good news is that he is only getting sent away with 2.5 million dollars
from his original 7.2 million dollar contract!
8. M.A.S.H...Now that was quality television...a gauranteed laugh no matter how many times you had seen
the re-runs.
9. Obamacare....Millions spent to determine if we should spend millions
10. Bill Cosby...Life's daily struggles transformed into laughter simply by telling a good clean story.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Bullying was hurting...but Healing was on the horizon
As I discussed yesterday, the eight years after high school were filled with nightmares, daydreams, and very little productive moments. I was hurting bad after so many years of being bullied. Every day I was in a mode of survival dealing with anxiety, panic attacks, depression and physical ailments. I was afraid of everything and everyone. I was too frightened and nervous to go to a dentist so by the age of 25, I had a cavity in every tooth in my mouth. I had many nervous ticks that were easily set off by interacting with people. The worst situations were when I with girls that I liked.
During my darkest days, my left arm and hand would twitch, my left leg got heavy and numb, the left side of my head always felt pressure on the temple. However, the most devastating symptom was the constant sense that I was going to dry heave. many times I did and of course this did not set me up fro many second dates. So I again designed a method of survival. As long as I always had something chewable in my mouth, I usually managed to put off the heaving. After experimenting with several items, I eventually settled on pistachios. Every morning my routine, along with showering and dressing, included the strategic location of pistachios for the daily activities. I made sure I had some in both front pockets of my pants and in the inside pocket of my jacket. There was also backup supplies located in my car, bedroom dresser and kitchen. If I was running low, I had to get a new supply at all costs. I missed appointments and failed to meet responsibilities. The pistachios were so aligned with me, that I regularly received them as Christmas presents because others assumed that I just liked them.
By the time I was 25, I was physically and emotionally a minimal blob of existence. (OK...that was a little wordy). Avoidance became my most painless method of survival. Some friends hung in there with me, but most tired of my lack of dependability, and direction. They got sick of wasted words, my daily personae of pity, and the absurdity of the panic attacks.
The day after labor day in 1985, I started classes again at the University of Lowell. I did have a bachelor's degree in business but had slid in and out of several jobs with no sense of purpose or passion. Now I was back in school to pursue a degree in Biology, attempting to convince myself that this was the real deal. All of my peers were off starting careers, getting married, buying houses and having kids. I was forging forward through another fall doing everything possible to avoid commitment and responsibility.
On the second day of school a moment occurred that would change my life forever. It was that second in time where the transition from "Hurt" to "Healing" began. This stunningly gorgeous Biology student came up to me and asked me a question in the hall at school. I felt as if I was looking into the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. As I began to respond to her question, something amazing happened: I didn't reach for a pistachio, I didn't twitch, I didn't feel a need to get away, I was coherent and I smiled! The "Healing" (although the process would take several years ) began at that very instant....To be continued....
During my darkest days, my left arm and hand would twitch, my left leg got heavy and numb, the left side of my head always felt pressure on the temple. However, the most devastating symptom was the constant sense that I was going to dry heave. many times I did and of course this did not set me up fro many second dates. So I again designed a method of survival. As long as I always had something chewable in my mouth, I usually managed to put off the heaving. After experimenting with several items, I eventually settled on pistachios. Every morning my routine, along with showering and dressing, included the strategic location of pistachios for the daily activities. I made sure I had some in both front pockets of my pants and in the inside pocket of my jacket. There was also backup supplies located in my car, bedroom dresser and kitchen. If I was running low, I had to get a new supply at all costs. I missed appointments and failed to meet responsibilities. The pistachios were so aligned with me, that I regularly received them as Christmas presents because others assumed that I just liked them.
By the time I was 25, I was physically and emotionally a minimal blob of existence. (OK...that was a little wordy). Avoidance became my most painless method of survival. Some friends hung in there with me, but most tired of my lack of dependability, and direction. They got sick of wasted words, my daily personae of pity, and the absurdity of the panic attacks.
The day after labor day in 1985, I started classes again at the University of Lowell. I did have a bachelor's degree in business but had slid in and out of several jobs with no sense of purpose or passion. Now I was back in school to pursue a degree in Biology, attempting to convince myself that this was the real deal. All of my peers were off starting careers, getting married, buying houses and having kids. I was forging forward through another fall doing everything possible to avoid commitment and responsibility.
On the second day of school a moment occurred that would change my life forever. It was that second in time where the transition from "Hurt" to "Healing" began. This stunningly gorgeous Biology student came up to me and asked me a question in the hall at school. I felt as if I was looking into the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. As I began to respond to her question, something amazing happened: I didn't reach for a pistachio, I didn't twitch, I didn't feel a need to get away, I was coherent and I smiled! The "Healing" (although the process would take several years ) began at that very instant....To be continued....
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Holding on to Hope through the Hurt of Bullying
"Hope" is a crucial word that I use during my anti-bullying presentations. I want kids to know that what I went through really hurt. I want them to know that the healing process can be at times challenging, unbearable and brutal. However, if there is no perspective of hope then those that hear me will end up doing what too many young people are doing. They will shut down believing that there is no way that things are going to get better. I know it gets better and I want to share with everyone that will listen that life can be awesome again, and a purpose for living is right there in front of you. When I was at my worst during the post-bullying years, getting out of bed was an exhausting chore. I knew that as soon as I faced other humans, I returned immediately to those feelings of worthlessness. I survived by avoiding connections with people. I was so afraid that they would quickly find out what a useless piece of dirt that I was. For about 8 years from 18 through 26 my daily walk through life was akin to a B-rated horror movie; something/someone was always lurking causing me discomfort and leading to irrational actions. I was a paranoid hypochondriac with neurotic tendencies. Underneath this craziness was simply a guy that wanted to be accepted and liked. I avoided high places because I would shake uncontrollably and stare down the constant fear that I would jump. I never did jump and there was never anything physically wrong with me. At the end of each day, I would feel such a relief when I knew I wouldn't have to face anyone else that day. I would allow myself to breath and then deal with the utter exhaustion of surviving the day. Sleep was tough and would eventually come after several hours of television or movie diversions. You are probably asking how could you continue every day. I don't know except that in the back corner of my mind was a slight stirring driving me towards a better day. In 1985, at the age of 26, the first inklings of a healing process began......More tomorrow...
Monday, July 2, 2012
Website Launched
I launched my website today, http://www.mikesanzeducate.com/. I'm so excited to finally get started and work towards ending bullying and supporting survivors throughout this country. So lets get started. The student program is developing and getting stronger every day. Teacher and parent programs are in the design stage. I'll present to any non-profit in Beaufort County at no cost through mid-August. E-mail me at sanzeducate@aol.com or call me at 843-422-9793 if you would like me to speak to, share with, and support your group.
Parent Tip of the Day: When your children check in for the night, have them turn their smart phones, I pads,
and computers over to you. Let them focus on sleep and rest without the media from
10 PM until 6 AM. (Crazy...maybe...Brilliant...probably).
Parent Tip of the Day: When your children check in for the night, have them turn their smart phones, I pads,
and computers over to you. Let them focus on sleep and rest without the media from
10 PM until 6 AM. (Crazy...maybe...Brilliant...probably).
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Bullied: Hurt, Healing and Hope
After 3 year of talk, thought and planning I have made the decision to resign from Beaufort County School District. I will be focusing my energy on an antibullying program titled, "Bullied: Hurt, Healing and Hope". There are 4 major points to the program:
1. I tell my stories opening up to the emotional and physical struggles that I experienced.
2. I inform and educate providing strategies for deterring and stopping bullying.
3. I make the bullies aware that a moment of laughter leads to a life of struggle for victims.
4. I provide a message and support system of Hope. Life can and will get better.
Programs are age appropriate each with their own perspective. So far I have made presentations at four Beaufort County Boys and Girls Clubs, McCracken Middle School and Hilton Head Island Rec. My web page should be launching later this week. I am making this program available to any non-profit organizations in Beaufort County for no cost through mid-August. Give me a call at 843-422-9793 or e-mail me at sanzeducate@aol.com.
Programs for other groups include:
• Parents: Understanding what your child is not saying.
• Teachers: Rapport, Recognition, Response
• Survivors: Coping, Hoping and Solutions
• Community: Just like a Natural Disaster: Prepare in Advance
• Grandparents: How can I Help?
• Workplace: Talented, Qualified and Driven: Targets for Bullies.
The long term goal is to provide a tough message, strategies and avenues of hope for kids, teachers, parents and survivors. This program will spread from Beaufort County, through South Carolina, and throughout this country. Forming coalitions with other anti-bullying organizations we will end the hurt and fear of bullying. My personal goal is to see all kids feeling safe in any social situations and enjoying coming to school every day.
1. I tell my stories opening up to the emotional and physical struggles that I experienced.
2. I inform and educate providing strategies for deterring and stopping bullying.
3. I make the bullies aware that a moment of laughter leads to a life of struggle for victims.
4. I provide a message and support system of Hope. Life can and will get better.
Programs are age appropriate each with their own perspective. So far I have made presentations at four Beaufort County Boys and Girls Clubs, McCracken Middle School and Hilton Head Island Rec. My web page should be launching later this week. I am making this program available to any non-profit organizations in Beaufort County for no cost through mid-August. Give me a call at 843-422-9793 or e-mail me at sanzeducate@aol.com.
Programs for other groups include:
• Parents: Understanding what your child is not saying.
• Teachers: Rapport, Recognition, Response
• Survivors: Coping, Hoping and Solutions
• Community: Just like a Natural Disaster: Prepare in Advance
• Grandparents: How can I Help?
• Workplace: Talented, Qualified and Driven: Targets for Bullies.
The long term goal is to provide a tough message, strategies and avenues of hope for kids, teachers, parents and survivors. This program will spread from Beaufort County, through South Carolina, and throughout this country. Forming coalitions with other anti-bullying organizations we will end the hurt and fear of bullying. My personal goal is to see all kids feeling safe in any social situations and enjoying coming to school every day.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)